To get the right effect, try to find very large asparagus. My monster spears were bought farm shop – each was a foot long! The other thing you really need is Ranch dip, which is what they serve with the asparagus in the San Joaquin Asparagus Festival. Ranch is a creamy dip, flavoured with onion, garlic and herbs (parsley, chives, dill). Many people try to replicate the taste, usually with a range of powdered ingredients and dried herbs – you can get close but never match the distinctive taste of Ranch. If you don’t have a source of Ranch dips sachets, then try mixing a little Boursin with Greek yoghurt or add chopped parsley, chives, dill into sour cream or Greek yoghurt – season with salt and pepper.